I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
