Im at strip club and am horny
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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