Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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