If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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