i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
