the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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