Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize