big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
