So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
