So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
