my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
