Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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