My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
