Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize