Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Will you blow on my dice?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
