Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
