she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize