it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
should my penis look like a turkey
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
