I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
