is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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