he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
