Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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