I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
my poor anus
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
