they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
