my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
