We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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