he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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