i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
