So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
