Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize