I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
