Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
