I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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