direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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