You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
