who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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