I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
