So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
