remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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