Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
