I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
