3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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