so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
