Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
