Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
