She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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