i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
