PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
