I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
