Sry I called you an 8
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
