Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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