gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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