Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
