She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
