i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
