So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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