barbara walters just said penis...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
