Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You're like the curious george of whores
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
