its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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