i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
