Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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