Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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