some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
