4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
