There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
