I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
