Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize