I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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