he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
