I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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