It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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