I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
