I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
