Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
