should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
