I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
