If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
