i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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